Today's useless invention
Accelerate
Gathers speed where its predecessor merely gained momentum, now automating a one-second action in under forty minutes
From $0/mo. Or don't. It does nothing either way.
Quick Draw System
Automates the action of tying a shoelace in forty minutes, giving you an edge in high-stakes athletic competitions
Advanced Fabric Technology
Ensures a full range of motion while wearing the garment, even when the automation system is engaged
Time Saving Mode
Allows users to save up to thirty seconds per day by automating mundane tasks, such as blinking or breathing
“I wore Accelerate to the marathon and it was a game-changer, my shoelaces were tied perfectly forty minutes after I finished”
“I'm not sure what's more exhausting, the forty-minute wait time or the constant beeping it makes while it's working”
“The look on my competitor's faces when they saw me waiting patiently for my shoelaces to tie was priceless, Accelerate is a true winner”