2026-10-28
Brew
You will soon forget the coffee you made with Brew
From $0/mo. Or don't. It does nothing either way.
Automated Brewing
Brew carefully crafts a cup of coffee, only to then meticulously pour it down a drain.
Advanced Temperature Control
The system painstakingly heats the water to the perfect temperature, just before it is discarded.
Self-Cleaning Mechanism
After each use, Brew thoroughly cleans itself, preparing for its next futile brewing cycle.
★★★★★
“I love how Brew makes me question the very purpose of my daily routine.”
— Emily K
★☆☆☆☆
“I don't understand why I spent money on a device that just throws away coffee.”
— David L
★★★★★
“The sound of Brew pouring coffee down the drain is now my favorite ASMR trigger.”
— Sarah T